Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
