we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
