Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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