The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize