he puts the penis in happiness.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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