Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
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