Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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