so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
