What did we do last night that was yellow?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
