My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
