I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
