I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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