She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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