at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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