You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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