If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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