They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize