THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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