i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
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