I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
