To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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