last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize