so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
