How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
