yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
