Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
