But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
