That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
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yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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