normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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