Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
