he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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