You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
