Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
