No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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