if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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