i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
