Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
