no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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