I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
