Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
