is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize