Already got asked if we're dating
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
