Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so much tequila, so little girl.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
