Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
