I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
