Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
