It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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