He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We were destined to go to rehab together
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
