Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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