some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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