I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
