I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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