Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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