I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
