I heard we made out
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
