i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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