just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
