Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
