I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
