I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize