i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
