at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
