Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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